Back then. Back when.

Back then. Back when I was depressed and didn’t care about myself, what was a waste of a Sunday/Monday? I could live through the TV instead. I used alcohol to numb my brain. To stop thinking. To breathe. But then I started to explore self-love. Slowly I found more and more qualities I loved with me. I grew a confidence I thought that I already had. I didn’t. I started to actually love myself. Those hang over days, lying on the couch made me feel… the opposite to how I wanted to feel. I want to be happy, energetic. Full of love. Drinking made me loose days, made me full of anxiety every morning. I had the opposite of a glow. I wanted to be fit, but I made bad decisions with drinking. Or I made decisions that wasn’t align with my ideal self. So I stopped for a few weeks. Just watched movies and went out to nice dinners on the weekend (you can spend so much more money on nice food if you cut the alcohol), and feeling good became addictive. I appreciated every Sunday I could work out, feel good. Every Monday morning I could wake up with a happy buzz. With energy. Filled with love. Not anxiety.  I live to live now. Not to numb and escape reality. I’m interested in so much more things. I want to be in the nature, I want to create, I want to be around people, I want to explore. (Sounds soo cheesy, I know. But it’s true). Life has so much more to offer without hangovers. I love living.

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