I’ve been pretty proud of myself lately. I’ve had conversations with people that I found heard, I have made decisions that make sense for my life and where I want to go. I am proud that I can see more clearly than I’ve ever been able to, and the other day a friend from Sweden asked me how life is going in Melbourne and I could honestly tell him that I’ve never ever been this happy. It made me think about how life actually is going down here.
Never in my life have I felt this content, happy and excited to be alive. I don’t know if it’s the trust I have in myself that I can actually look after myself, or that I’m allowing myself to explore my passions in life? Maybe it is just as simple as I’ve stoped dedicating my life to parties and getting drunk? Most likely it is a combination of all. It is so pretty though, to really look into how I feel, stop, and actually realize that right now, I’m happier than I’ve ever been before. Ever. Right now. I remember wondering if I would ever feel truly happy. I wanted to fast forward my life 10 years to just be able to see 5 minutes of my life so that I could know if it was worth moving on. This is why I did move on, and this is why I kept fighting the battles with my brain. Now I’m here, and I must take time to really appreciate it and be grateful for it. Anxiety is such a suffocating feeling. Sadness is a killer. Happiness and love is life.