The last two weeks I have been weirdly happy. I’ve been filled with pearl-colored bubbles and I giggle every time I think about it. Why? I got a small feeling saying that it might have to do with me not having coffee anymore. Or I should say me not relying on coffee because I will never say that I won’t drink it again. If I ever want a coffee, or alcohol or heroin for that matter, I’ll have it. But for now I don’t feel like either coffee or heroin (is this where I should clarify that I’ve never tried heroin?). I love not needing anything to pick me up or get me going. I love fighting my addictive brain. I feel so free and controlled. Every day it used to create such a fuzz. When will I have my coffee? Should I have one now, then one before work? And if I’m tired another one during? Maybe I skip my morning coffee so that I can have 3 at work? No I love my morning coffee. Maybe I have 4 today. It was just another stress-moment for me, and although I love coffee, I think that it actually caused me more harm then good.
My pearl-bubble-happiness is probably an outcome of many small circumstances just falling into place. I feel happy at work, happy with my mission in life, I feel like I know where I am going and I feel like I’m an over-all good person. I strongly recommend people who get too obsessive with coffee and rely on that beautiful brown gold or other supplement to go off it for a month and see what that does to your mood and energy levels. The first three weeks was a sad story, but pushing through I just see everything so much clearly now.