When doing nothing is everything

I love to feel like I’ve done important shit at the end of each day. I lay down on the couch and I feel like I’ve ticked off boxes, I have been creative and inspiring. I’ve been good to myself and I am feeling content. That is the feeling I want to have every evening when I resign on the couch or in bed. I don’t like to feel useless. Like I’m not doing anything for anyone. I am creating a life with someone, and every day I want to be one step closer to that life that I have in my visions. But sometimes doing nothing is really doing something. Sometimes I have to just lay down and watch a stupid movie, or read a shitty magazine. Sometimes that is the most important thing anyone can do, in that moment. Now, those days make me feel guilty. But that is my choice, and I need to change that, because my nightmare is to be that person who can never relax, and who is always on the go, hard to be around because in her head she is always somewhere else. I want to be calm, mindful, and still achieve great things (and have jumping off the walls energy).

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