It struck me yesterday, why I feel so happy and alive. Before I created a vision for myself, a goal towards where I wanted to go, or many goals to be fair, I was only living. Without any purpose except to be happy. But it is frustrating to try to be happy without giving it any thought to what makes you happy, and what you actually would like to do with your life if anything was possible. I didn’t dare to think those big thoughts before. I didn’t dare to dream. I was scared to lose, scared to get disappointed. I’ve now understood that even if I don’t reach a specific goal; the journey of wanting it, and making choices in my life that will bring me closer to reaching my goal, is in fact to make it. Because every step closer to my dream life is a step closer than I wouldn’t even consider taking without dreaming and believing that I could.
Before all of this, Adrian and I lived one life. We lived for us and didn’t know where we wanted to be, how we wanted to get there, and what kind of life we wanted. Today we live two lives with the same purpose, with the same heart. We support each other. We are both growing, and instead of bringing each other down to where one of us might be, we lift each other up. We have made it clear that we never talk about impossibility. We never say that one can’t do something. We always, always, always encourage big dreams and support one another with whatever that means.
Before I didn’t live a life of my own. I didn’t have dreams other than dreaming of a life where I didn’t have to do things I didn’t love to do. But I wasn’t more specific than that. I didn’t try to figure out what I actually did love. Because I didn’t believe that I could do something that I love… I have said it before, I know, but this is what made my life interesting, fun, exciting and happy. To dream and believe, actually believe that I have what it takes to get me there. I may not know how yet, but every day I step closer and closer. And I love the journey.