I’m in an interesting place right now in my life, or interesting place in my brain. I feel like there will be a lot of changes to it soon, but quite what I’m not sure of. Yet. I mean, there is always changes, new obsessions, new knowledge, new opportunities. But I’ve got a feeling that soon there will be bigger changes. I feel curious, and maybe that is why I’ve got this feeling. A feeling of being ready to go where I want to go, wherever that is. Ready to cut some safety strings.
Being around my family and friends in Sweden I think that I got some confidence back. Not that I’ve really felt a lack of confidence before, but I feel like I now want to stick up for what I want to do, who I want to be and how I want to live my life in a different way. My whole life got questioned in Sweden, and now I feel like I finally am on a good track going ahead. I was running around in a roundabout and in Sweden I finally got the courage to pick an exit. Pick a path.
The thing is that I feel confident that I’ve chosen the right path, but I really don’t know where I’m going. I know my goals and I know who I’m choosing to be on this journey, but for me to get to my goals I have to commit and make a few changes in my life. And that’s where I’m standing right now. I’ve learnt this week that dreams will remain dreams if we don’t constantly take actions that will bring us closer to them. We can visualise our dreams and beg for them to come true every minute of the day, but in order for us to get there we also have to find an engine to move forwards. We need to find a drive. And the bigger the actions, the closer will I come.
I’ve got nothing to loose. Only lessons to learn and a dream to win
Now, my mind is open and I feel grateful that I’ve let go of some stories I’ve created for myself. Stories about what I had to do, and who I had to be. I’ve let go of stories of why I can’t do things. Why I need to be a certain person. I am open to changes, and that I haven’t really been for a while. I’ve been too safe. Now I’m experimenting with a few new thoughts, I’m feeling that I’m willing to make changes in my life, and that feels refreshing. I thought that staying in my safe place would make me feel safe and controlled, but I realise now that it just made me feel constantly scared of loosing what I had. Loosing the routines and my safety net. But now, when I don’t need all the rules and the routines, now when I’ve let the go, now when I’m open to change I don’t feel scared anymore. Because I’ve got nothing to loose. Only lessons to learn and a dream to win.