Yesterday I came to work at 2. I’m having a couple of, to me, late night shifts which really stresses me out. I really value my dinner wined down time at home with Adrian and this week I have been busy with work almost every night. I don’t want to be that complaining person, but if there is anything that will get me it is that. I felt happy going to work though, listening to podcasts about hormones and longevity, by Chris Kresser, which I highly recommend if you are interested in anything nutrition and functional medicine related. Anyhow, as I walked in to work and hit the back room something just snapped inside me and I started crying uncontrollable, and I couldn’t understand why. So much for hormones, I can’t wait to see what I’ll be like when I get pregnant. I’m not even period-crying.
I cried until I had to start work, and I did look like a garden gnome, desperately trying to cover my red nose in concealer. The first ladies who walk into the fitting room are four ladies from Singapore. They are chatty and happy, and I bring them clothes to try on at the same time as I help some other ladies in there. I’m not feeling tip top but they entertained me and they made me happy. Then one of them ask how I always can be so happy, and I just started laughing, telling them that the minute before they came I just cried my eyes out in the back room for no reason. So I told them that after rain there will always be sun, and it’s exhausting fighting storms instead of just going with them. Sometimes we need to let out emotions out so that we can fill up with new fresh emotions. They laughed a lot, and me too. And I felt that that is actually true. After my tears, I felt like I had let something go, whatever it was it needed to leave my system, and I was ready to take the sun in.
There is no point being afraid of emotions, because they are all inside us. Suppressing them is only going to hit us with a bang when we least expect it. I love emotions, even though they sometimes doesn’t appear in the best of circumstances. But like the weather, you just gotta go with it.