The last few days have been a bit of a test for me. Or maybe even the past couple of weeks. From being super strict with what I allow myself to do I’ve slowly bent all of my rules to try and figure out how to balance it all. And with “it all” I at least think that I mean life. It’s easy to say no to everything. No to coffee, no to alcohol, no to relaxing, no to life. It’s easy to say no to going out for dinner and drinks because I know I’ll feel better the days after if I don’t. But the couple of months when I only said no, I also missed out on a lot of social connections that I thrive from.
So slowly I started to live more and more outside the “no-zone” and I felt that allowing myself to be a bit more spontaneous and easy with life made me happy. I’ve been loving listening to my body and only train if I feel like it, and I’ve been feeling so much more relaxed when it comes to actually living. And I’ve been good at finding a balance between relaxing and working.
The alcohol and coffee side of relaxing though has been more experimental, and I think that I much prefer my life as coffee and alcohol free as possible. Although I do enjoy one glass of wine once in a while I found that when I allow myself to have more my obsessiveness awakens, and I don’t enjoy the wine anymore, just the buzz. And that’s ok, but what I don’t enjoy at all is the days after where I feel out of wack. I feel like I’ve lost control over my health, body and mind and to me it’s simply not worth the “over-two-glasses-buzz” that I actually find enjoyable.
Life is full of lessons and sometimes we just have to relearn them to be able to enjoy what we do. I believe that we are constantly changing , so every once in a while it is important to question the way we live in order for us to understand if what we are doing is what we want to be doing. And for me bending the rules has made me appreciate less caffeine and alcohol in my life, because to me it’s not worth it feeling anxious and dull. I want to feel vibrant every day!