Am I doing enough or do I need to try harder?
When and how do we know that we are doing enough? I always feel like I could do so much more, but I value time to do nothing a lot as well. I don’t want to be constantly busy. I need balance. I need to pause and breath. Quite often actually. But then I see what other people are up to, I start comparing myself with everyone again and I feel like the laziest person on earth. We can do something to get to where we want to be in every awaken minute of the day, but will that actually take us further than if we do what we feel comfortable with doing? I suppose that this is all aligned with what we value in life. I couldn’t live a life where I work most days and keep working after work, missing out on most dinners with Adrian because I’m chasing some dream, because my dream is also here and now, living our life. If I’m constantly trying to get somewhere, get to the future I’ll miss out on life here and now, and that’s important to me, and to our relationship.
And I know that right now I’m living how I want to live, now, even though I know that in the future I have a dream about something else with Adrian, we will have a big house and fly business class all over the world. You know, so that I can stretch out my restless legs when I’m visiting Sweden three months every year. I’m scared sometimes that I have to choose one or the other. But how do you know? How do you know if what your are putting in is enough? Am I good enough?
I am good enough! We all need to know that. I have doubted myself my whole life, and doubt has been familiar. Doubt has been what I knew. I have never known what it’s like not to doubt. I never thought I was good enough for my friends, I never thought I was good enough for my family, I thought that I had to earn the reason to feel good through perfect grades in school, I didn’t think that I looked good enough. The list goes on and on and on. I realized this listening to Marisa Peer, actually after I started writing this post. I didn’t youtube “how to be good enough”, I just remembered hearing the name and thought I’d see what she was all about. And like the universe works, I got the answers to my questions without even knowing that I was asking. So I am good enough. I don’t have to do anything to earn the right to feel like I’m good enough. I am enough just by being me.
Of course I’ve had a bad body image my whole life. I haven’t thought that I’m good enough if I don’t look a certain way. I’ve compared myself and tried to become someone else because I haven’t felt like I’m good enough the way I am. We live in a society where we are surrounded by people who all talk themselves down. We talk about ourselves like we aren’t good enough. That’s what’s familiar. That’s what’s normal. We grow up surrounded by a reality of people who all think that they aren’t good enough. I say enough to that. I have had enough! My goal in life is to change this, and make it normal to feel like we are all good enough for this world. We don’t have to constantly do, perform, look amazing in order to be enough for this world. We are enough just by being. I am good enough. Yesterday I wrote that on all the mirrors at work, because I want everyone to know that they are enough, just the way they are.