Monthly Archives: November 2016

I did it, and this is just the start! <3

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I did something today that I am feeling super proud of. Something that I feel excited about. And if I wouldn’t have done it I would have kept thinking about it. This made me realise what I want to do in my life. And what I want to do is sharing a message of self love. That’s what this is all about. Caring and loving yourself like you care for others. Because then you can go on living from a place of love.

I realised today that that’s a message I want to send out. And I realised today that every day I want to work towards making young girls and boys see themselves as worthy. There are so many things in the world that needs to be done, but I cannot focus on all of it. Sometimes you have to choose where you would like to make a difference, and for now; this is where I need to be.

I went into a girl school today, speaking to 25 15-16 year old girls about how to find self love. I spoke with them about eating disorders and how I manage to separate myself from that place. I was so nervous before I honestly considered jumping in front of a car to break a leg or something, but I then realised that I’m going to that classroom to tell the girls not to let their inner critic control their lives. So if I let my inner critic control my life I would be a hypocrite and a wannabe. So every little thought of self doubt that appeared in my head I fought off with a strong and encouraging one. I was fencing myself the whole week. My confidence won and I did a really good job. Most importantly, I really spoke from my heart with an intention of making every single girl in that room curious about self love and how to honour themselves. And I felt like I genuinely could share my thoughts.

After I was all shaky. I also felt quite empty. Where do I go from here and how can I do more? How can we make sure we teach the kids that loving themselves is key to respecting yourself and then you can figure out where you want to be in this world. And who you want to be.

This is something I want to be a part of. This is something I am a part of. <3

The real world is fun!

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I’m done spending time doing stuff that I don’t genuinely love. That’s how I feel. Most of the time I don’t do what I don’t want to do. Oh my god. Life is life. It’s happening now. How does one live in a world with all these musts and shoulds without participating in it, but still be apart of the love? “That’s just the way it is” I hear often. “Welcome to the real world”. The “real world” in these quotes is often referred to as a world where one has to have the 40-hour work week-package. That’s not my real world. In my real world I want to be excited for the endless options I have. I want to be out in the sun, breath the fresh air. I want to lie under the palm trees with a book or a podcast in my ears not worrying about must and shoulds. In my real world work is a part of me, and every part of me is chosen, fun and exciting. Every part of me is vibrating with interest for all of what the world has got to offer. That’s the world I want to live in. I choose to have a fun life, because that’s what I dreamed of when I was a child. And when I was a child that’s what “the real world” was all about. And for me I haven’t let go of that vision. The real world has endless fun to offer. I choose to chase it.

I’m turning into a hippie, thank god!

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Something happens when you start loving yourself. You care. It’s like all the “whatevers” and “why not’s” turns into questions of why. Why should I do this to myself? Why expose myself to this? And why not do that, if it makes me happy and healthy?

I want to see the love in the world. I want to see health and happiness. I want people to appreciate living and see that they can do whatever they want to do with their lives. I want people to hug and laugh. Forget about stress. Forget about musts. Because most of the time, they are just made up. They are because they are, but they don’t have to be.

Everything I do in my life I do because I want to be happy. I want to explore all the methods I can use in order to elevate my happiness and find peace of mind. I’ve recently started to explore the power of the breath. Joe Rogan had Wim Hof “Iceman Hof” as a guest on his podcast a couple of weeks ago, and listening to what he has achieved with just his breath and exposure to cold is mind-fucking-blowing. I’m talking controlling his immune system, running a barefoot marathon above the polar circle and climbing Mount Everest in his undies. I started to take cold showers maybe 6 months ago and I could really experience all the amazing benefits from it quickly. The energy boost, clearness in my mind and happiness are just a few sensations I feel when exposing myself to the cold water. Wim Hof combines cold therapy with a breathing technique which essentially provides all your cells with oxygen which allows you to really get in contacts with your inner strength and emotional being.

It makes me so happy and full of hope finding out and learning new methods to control and explore my happiness and health. I get excited to breathe. I’ll keep exploring ways that can help me boost my happiness and my love for life. And sharing what I learn make me happy.

Happiness, Beauty and the sky

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I just want to be happy. That’s all I want. And I am happy, most of the times. Happiness to me isn’t always about laughing and smiling; it’s about some sort of deeper content-ness. It’s about feeling that I’m making the best of my life. Happiness is accepting what I have here and now and at the same time working on creating the best possible future. This is all an balancing act. How do I know that I’m doing enough in the moment so that I can be content in the future?

It’s the same with my body. I just want to be happy with it, without obsess. I want to live an easy life without pushing myself too hard. I want to carry myself with pride. I don’t want to count every calorie that goes in and out of my body. I just want to live. I just want to be happy. Some people live for a sport and fitness is so important to maintain a certain physic level to make the team. For me I want fitness to be about happiness. That’s why I cannot over or under do it. When I need to work out every day I feel useless if I haven’t pushed my body hard enough, and if I don’t do anything at all I feel… slow and a bit sluggish.

I work out to feel good, but it’s also a superficial thing. I want to look good.

Why does body image matter so much to me? I mean, is it this mind occupying for everyone? I feel like I have changes though. It’s not that overwhelming anymore. It doesn’t occupy my mind all the time. “What does my body look like in this angle?”

I actually feel pretty relaxed in my body at the moment, finally. Even if I’m not one hundred percent happy with every inch of it all the time, I can still live with myself without stressing too much over it. I can laugh at what I’m not happy with, and I can joke and take a joke without panic, which is kind of new. If anyone joked with me about my body fat or eating a couple of months ago I would feel sick, ugly and fat, but now I can take a joke and laugh at myself. That’s worth celebrating I think. I thought that the world had to change and stop making jokes, but it turned out that I could change and take a joke. And I love me for getting to that point.

It’s like this Caroline Mchugh said on a ted talk; Even in the stormiest of days the sky is bright blue underneath. Sometimes the sky is beautiful, creating rainbows, and sometimes it’s gray and gloomy. The sky can see the impermanence of the clouds and the rainbow. We need, like the sky find a state of mind where we can realize that behind all the temporary clouds and rainbows there is something still, and that is you. Because you are like the sky, always bright blue underneath, no matter what you might look like one day or what you might be surrounded by on another. You are you, like the sky is the sky. Always.

Body image

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What a thing that is really, body image. How controlling it can be. I’m in one of those weeks where I feel like I’ve put on 10kgs and a couple of extra cheeks and it really messes with my whole approach on life. What I’m trying to do now is actually realize that even if I would have put on some weight it’s not the end of the world. I’ve got a battle going on in my head between my inner critic who tells me that I’m fat and probably shouldn’t enjoy life as much and my free spirit who says that as long as I take care of my body and mind I should be proud of every part of my body. And I really want to be. Proud.

When I think about it I am actually so grateful for my body and all that it does for me. When I was younger I only felt hate towards my body. Today I feel love, but I also criticise myself and my body, a lot. I feel like I’m that parent who just want my kids to succeed, and I’ll push them so hard I forget that they are just kids that want to have fun. I push them, and only the best is good enough. That’s how I feel with my body. I want it to be the best, and sometimes I find it hard to just approve of it just as is and love it for who it is.

One good thing is that when I now feel love for my body, I want my body to be the best potential I take care of it so much better than I did when hate was all I felt. I make sure that I nourish it. I make sure I get all the right nutrition. I make sure I calm my mind. I make sure I’ll exercise in moderation. So for me to now feel like a blowfish and still feel ok; that’s kind of a big achievement. I realize that it’s more important to have a fun life than care about a few extra kegs. Body image control many people’s lives. Even ruins a few. I don’t want to look back at my life and realize that the reason that I couldn’t enjoy life was because I thought that I looked 2kgs heavier than I would have hoped. I would be so mad at me, for being so shallow, vain and naïve. I just want to live life. An exciting life. With no restriction. Just happiness and love. For myself and the world.