How not to be your own shadow – fight!

I used to hurt myself in many different ways. Not just strictly physical, but also with actions. I drank too much without caring for my body, I talked myself down and starved my body. I had a need to feel and look sick so that I didn’t have to deal with what I was supposed to deal with – I had an excuse and that made my life easier in a way- but not happier, more exciting or more livable. And definitely not full of purpose and fulfillment.

Reading “The war of art” made me realize why I spent so many years fighting with myself; it is so much easier than fighting for myself. It was easier to make an excuse not to start writing and expressing myself through creativity and accepting my lack of talent than actually doing something that fulfilled me and expressed who I truly was and still am.

My excuses were many. On one hand I can think of: people will make fun of me and not understand what I am trying to do, I am not good enough at doing this, I should get a real career that will get me a steady income, writing and self expression is just a hobby, I will not reach anyone with my work – no one will like/enjoy/relate to it… the list can grow endlessly. There are so many fights I have to fight within to actually find the courage to do this shit anyway; there is not just the one fight. Excuses are much easier to come up with and fall back on, and you rarely risk anything by following their advice. But they never help you to become a better person.

WHY ME?

With every move I make towards getting my book out there I fight a million voices that tries to tell me why there is no point in proceeding and “wasting time” working on it. I fight those voices mentioned above but add to them any possible doubt and that is the forces that are trying to put me “back in place” and not trust that I can do what I truly want to do. Why me, is a big one? There are so many people out there that could be doing this a million times better – it tells me and I hear it. Every day I try not to listen.

In “the War of art” Steven Pressfield call this resistance to create and the resistance to creativity. Just opening the war of art made me, from the first page, feel and understand that this force, that is trying to prevent me from doing what I love, will be there with me as a bad friend forever. But, now when I know him, I know that he is the one being insecure, scared, unloved, unfulfilled and not worth ever listening to – not the real me. He is the black angel, the bully who doesn’t know any better, and he is always full of shit.

Even though I hear him loud and clear, every day, I will not let him win over me, because I know that I will look back and thank myself for every fight I won against him. If I give in it only means that I will have to start doing this shit later in life – because this is what I would do if someone gave me six months left to live. To me it is meaningful and it gives my soul and me a purpose. That’s how I know that he is full of shit that resistance, I know that this is worth fighting for and I know that if I will not do this I will always just be my own shadow.

79 responses to “How not to be your own shadow – fight!

  1. Pingback: Aws Alkhazraji

  2. Pingback: iraqi geometry

  3. Pingback: see page

  4. Pingback: pendaftaran cpns 2018 sma kemenhub

  5. Pingback: industrial kitchen cabinets

  6. Pingback: iraq coehumancoehuman

  7. Pingback: cpns 2018 september

  8. Pingback: info rekrutmen cpns 2018

  9. Pingback: daily horoscope

  10. Pingback: house for sale

  11. Pingback: find a real estate agent

  12. Pingback: office space for rent miami

  13. Pingback: GVK Biosciences

  14. Pingback: see this site

  15. Pingback: Vascular access ports studies

  16. Pingback: SEO company in Hyderabad

  17. Pingback: cmovieshd

  18. Pingback: https://www.squeeqee.co.uk/carpet-cleaning-chorleywood

  19. Pingback: satta matka, satta king, satta, matka, kalyan matka

  20. Pingback: datingnzcougar.info

  21. Pingback: How to cure premature ejaculation

  22. Pingback: follow this post

  23. Pingback: C++ Tutorial

  24. Pingback: please click for source

  25. Pingback: more info

  26. Pingback: find out more

  27. Pingback: click to see more

  28. Pingback: page address

  29. Pingback: find out more

  30. Pingback: click the following article

  31. Pingback: follow this post

  32. Pingback: 100% Free PORNO Hookup List 10328

  33. Pingback: Best Porn Meet List 33854

  34. Pingback: 100% Free XXX Meet List 23641

  35. Pingback: Best PORNO Hookup List 85755

  36. Pingback: Ambika Ahuja Jaipur Escorts

  37. Pingback: NEHA TYAGI MODEL JAIPUR ESCORTS

  38. Pingback: JAIPUR ESCORTS ALIYA SINHA

  39. Pingback: XXX PORN BANGALORE COMPANION ESCORTS

  40. Pingback: Dhruvi Jaipur Escorts

  41. Pingback: JAIPUR ESCORTS MODEL DRISHYA

  42. Pingback: Heena Khan Bangalore Escorts

  43. Pingback: Jiya Malik High Profile Jaipur Escorts Model

  44. Pingback: FUN WITH JAIPUR ESCORTS PUJA KAUR

  45. Pingback: XXX BANGALORE ESCORTS

  46. Pingback: XXX PORN SAPNA CHAUDHARY ESCORTS

  47. Pingback: Selly Arora Independent Bangalore Escorts

  48. Pingback: Enjoy With Jaipur Escorts Tanisha Walia

  49. Pingback: RUBEENA RUSSIAN BANGALORE ESCORTS

  50. Pingback: Bristy Roy Independent Bangalore Escorts

  51. Pingback: XXX PORN SRUTHI PATHAK MODEL ESCORTS

  52. Pingback: Bangalore Escorts Sneha Despandey

  53. Pingback: XXX PORN MODEL HONEY PREET ESCORTS

  54. Pingback: XXX PORN Radhika Apte Model Escort

  55. Pingback: Best PORNO Dates Users 8747

  56. Pingback: FREE XXX Meet Members 83615

  57. Pingback: Kolkata Escorts

  58. Pingback: Goa Escorts

  59. Pingback: 100% Free XXX Dates Members 28999

  60. Pingback: FREE Sex Dating List 74507

  61. Pingback: more detailed on this page

  62. Pingback: horoscope zwigglers leo

  63. Pingback: notehub.org

  64. Pingback: notehub.org click the following article f7zceN

  65. Pingback: click for details

  66. Pingback: notehub.org click to continue

  67. Pingback: notehub.org

  68. Pingback: notehub.org click to read more QgIWOW

  69. Pingback: notehub.org more detailed on this page d0p

  70. Pingback: notehub.org

  71. Pingback: notehub.org follow the link rxuS

  72. Pingback: notehub.org read an article

  73. Pingback: notehub.org

  74. Pingback: find out more

  75. Pingback: notehub.org page aLctKs

  76. Pingback: notehub.org article source

  77. Pingback: article source

  78. Pingback: notehub.org provided link

  79. Pingback: page

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.