I’m mostly using this space to figure out what I’m doing that isn’t working for me in order for me to be the person I know that I am and can be. I am using it to “talk it out” with myself with a hope that what I am saying might resonate with other souls out there who need to wake up in the same areas of life as me. But I have been feeling fantastic lately. It is almost scary.
Even though shit is a little bit unsure at the moment on some levels of my life I have never felt this strong force of confidence in the road I’m traveling on. I am scared that feeling this good will slip through my fingers and I will forget why I feel so good, but I am pretty sure that if I keep appreciating and keep being aware of where I am and why and what I am trying to achieve I can conserve this love for life and the universe and keep living in it. So I thought; why not share shit when it’s working well too. It’s another, new-ish type of reflection for me, and I like it.
A couple of things I believe add into this state of mind. To prepare to get of my antidepressants I have started to ramp up my probiotics and prebiotics. We are now making our own sauerkraut, other fermented vegetables (fermented eggplant is easy and amazingly good), and kombucha, which we make sure to eat/drink every day in addition to just taking probiotic supplements. For the past month or more we have also been having a green smoothie a la Stig Bengmark containing kale, spinach, celery, broccolisprouts, turmeric, pepper, coconut oil, ginger, cloves, sumac and lemon (sometimes we don’t use all the ingredients but if they are there we do). Every day we drink/eat this disgustingly tasting happiness boosting green hulky smoothie and I recon that it has really given me extra energy and happiness. With minimal exposure to gluten and dairy in combination with that I honestly feel healthier than I have ever felt.
See, I have always believed that I was eating healthy food and wondered why I never felt as I thought that I deserved to feel but looking back at my diet/diets and what I believed was healthy I see how blurred my reality was. I focused on maximizing protein and minimizing carbs and sugar but allowed myself artificial sweeteners and other chemically pumped food. No wonder I needed help to feel happy; I didn’t give my body the tools it needed to heal and create everything that I needed in order to feel amazing.
My diet now consist of Avocados, green bananas, quinoa, lentils, beans, all vegetables I can get my hands on, sweet potato, eggs, buckwheat, teff, chia seeds, flax seeds, stone cut oats, manuka honey, nuts and nut butters, 90% chocolate, olive oil and coconut oil and I think that I am on the right track – finally. I used to be scared of too much oils, nuts and avocados, I would rarely touch anything with carbs such as the sweet potato, bananas, teff and buckwheat flour and I would limit my lentil and bean intake to a minimum and instead go for lean meats and fish for protein (even the good carbs and fats scared me. a lot). I basically believed that anything that wasn’t lean protein and low calorie vegetables would make me swell up like a balloon. Well, I am so glad that I am not living with that belief anymore, and so is my body and my mind.
On top of this I also make sure to supplement with vitamin D now when the Australian winter is here (if you can call it winter). That is one thing almost all doctors and scientists I listen to seem to agree on as the body cannot produce it for itself without the sun. We really seem to be affected on many levels if we are lacking vitamin D.
Coffee is not part of my daily routine anymore, I only drink it when I am having breakfast out. I think that the coffee caffeine might trigger anxiety for me, but I am not sure yet so I am trying to really connect to my emotions when I have it. Everyone knows that I can drink bathtubs full of coffee if my body allowed me to, but at the moment I am actually enjoying my coconut flavoured green tea almost as much. It also makes coffee extra special when I do have it.
The lack of hangovers is also a revolutionary boost of energy and peace of mind. God, every morning I wake up with no hang over I just thank myself for not drinking. That doesn’t mean that I never enjoy a drink because I do, but I know that if I want to sustain this feeling of joy, energy and happiness it cannot be a part of a weekly routine. So I choose not to drink per routine and if I do I either stop at max two drinks or know that I will feel a little less energized over the next few days. Usually I am not willing to bargain with feeling good because I enjoy it too much.
Finally I’ve found my way back to meditation and it sure does wonders to the mind and soul. Fuck I do actually love meditation. Resistance sometimes tries to get in between me and 15-20 minutes of stillness; but I have committed to do it, every day, and I win the fight almost every time. I always keep a notepad next to me because ideas seem to reach me when I quiet my mind and allow myself to listen to my soul. I realize what’s important. I see patterns I otherwise would’ve missed. Even if I can just remind myself to take a break in any task that I do during the day to take ten – thirty deep breaths I’m happy. It’s such a great pause. Just stop and breathe and let the air work its way to nourish your body.
So, this is what I have been working on and committing to, and by the way that I am feeling most of the time it seem to be working for me. Sooo I’ll keep on keeping on and constantly try to learn even more shit about everything that can make me a happier and healthier person.