I have been holding on to my freedom like it was the only thing that was keeping me alive and happy. Everything that closed in on my personal space of freedom made me feel really unease and claustrophobic, but most of all it makes me feel frustrated. Who are anyone to think that they have the right to tell me how I can and cannot act and what I can and cannot do unless what I am doing is hurting other people? I haven’t been able to wrap my head around that, until now. My fight for freedom has made me cringe of the thought of being the slightest controlled. I have believed control to be evil and only damaging to people’s true individualities.
But recently, after again listening to Jordan Petersons podcast with Joe Rogan I have realised that control over people isn’t evil (if the control itself is not practised by evil people). To be a part of a group, a society we have to sacrifice a little bit of our freedom and individuality, or else we will not be able to be a part of the society. Without rules and boundaries there will not be a society. We would probably go back to being tribal without working towards a collective development of the world. It is when rules gets corrupted that we have to be alarmed and make sure that rules are created to benefit the biggest number of people. This is probably where I should stop writing about this because I have only touched on the surface of knowledge and science about this and how a society is built isn’t really part of my passionate interests.
What I am interested in though is how me, as an individual, can view these restrictions of my way of expressing myself in the healthiest way. See, before I was only frustrated with the sacrifice of my individuality that I had to make with going to school, following the rules there, not being able to do things that I wanted to do, put myself in line, learn about subjective rights and wrongs and having to follow some of those made up rights or else I couldn’t be a part of the bigger picture. These sacrifices have always made me frustrated. WHY DO I HAVE TO DO THIS? Have I screamed. I don’t understand WHY? And to be honest I don’t ever think I have gotten any other answers to that questions than “because I say so, because those are the rules, because everybody has to do it, because it is the law”. And that has never made me satisfied. Why are the rules there if nobody can tell me the purpose behind them?
What I realise now is that it is though these sort of individual sacrifices that we create a common ground to stand on. We create reference points we use to understand and communicate with each other. We sacrifice a bit of our own freedom in order to create a way of living together. I have never looked at it in this way, and maybe this is completely obvious to many people out there, but now I am happy that I understand that the sacrifice we more or less are forced to do is connecting us all. But like with everything, the more we sacrifice the better it WILL NOT get. We have to find a balance between sacrificing individuality and still being able to express ourselves in our own individual way. We never want to lose our individuality, but most of us also don’t want to lose our connection to the rest of the group either. I am now happy understanding that I can be grateful for things that used to make me feel only frustration.