Tag Archives: allow yourself to be happy

SIGNED, SEALED & Free the girl – Ready to be delivered!

Get it here (only available as an E-book at this stage, hard-copy lovers have to wait a few weeks. The only difference will be that the E-book contains photos the hard copy lack):

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B074GV3DPZ or

https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B074GV3DPZ

Free the girl can easily be described as a letter to my teenage self from an older sister! I’m sharing my journey to hopefully make hers make more sense a little quicker.

In this book I give you the story of my destructive ego getting silenced by love, craziness, common sense, hope and a lot of stubbornness. You will go along for a trip to emotion-land, with me and maybe learn a new way of interacting with, and get to know yourself. It is a heavy read, but also filled with a lot of light, fun, “is this actually true?”, honesty and questions for you to reflect over.

Today, almost 10 years after starting it I am finally able to publish, move on with my life BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY – help young girls (and boys) out there who have lost the ability/forgot how to love & respect themselves.

After completing this book I know this about my life;

I have never, ever, in my life done anything this properly. I didn’t actually think that I had it in me. Or, let me rephrase that; I always knew I could do things properly – I just didn’t think that I would ever feel bothered to put in that extra work into something to make it the best. I have always settled with the first ok or good result to then rejected it out of my life like a little deer child. For the first time in my life I feel that I have done the absolute best I can in producing something I am proud of. That doesn’t mean that I am not scared of showing the result. It feels very revealing; because now, I share with you my absolute best! And, I am presenting you the hardest times of my life and my thoughts about how I could’ve made my life a bit or a lot lighter.

Free the girl – a story about (finding) self-love is out there for you, or for that teenage cousin of yours who seem to be a little more down that you think she/he has to be, to read.

This book is a perfect tool for parents who have teenagers that might seem a bit down, are drinking too much, battling with eating disorders, lack of self love or who might just need a bit of perspective on life. It is a perfect book to have and communicate through with your teenager (and they will most likely love it too since it is written in a raw but still optimistic language).

 

ALL THE THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (also to be found in the book)

I am filled with a lot of gratitude to all the people who have encouraged me to keep working on this book when I sometimes doubted if I am actually the right person to shine light on these self-destructive subjects. Today, thanks to all of you, I know that I am, because I feel so much for everything I share in this book, and I truly wish that it will end up in the hands of those who feel a lot, and those who know people who feel. A lot.

THANK YOU Adrian who I have accused of not believing in my capability of actually finishing something (which I realised when writing this, is just my own fear of not being capable, and my own self doubt projected). Thank you for pushing me to create something that inspires and feels good, even though my story is quite heavy.

Thanks to my brothers for letting me share our story, through my experience and to use your documentation.

Thank you Mum for providing me with so many emotional drawings (some I heard you drew balling your eyes out) and being able to stay positive, never blaming me for treating you like shit and holding my behaviour against me – because you always knew that I had, and always will, have endless love for you.

Amber Weller & Zandra Zbinden for thoroughly going through and helping me see things with a new, educated perspective.

Anthony Ross for helping me realize how shit the book once was, which made me step up and not just lazily reject it, like I normally do – before I had actually put in the hard work of editing it properly!

Temi Katonis, Tali Morgan, Isabel Westrup & Ellika Fenno for reading this in it’s early stages and give me some really good feedback and confidence to the story.

I have to give my biggest thank to someone I have never met in person but who has taught me so much about the art of writing and composing a book; Honey Reither, who I would’ve never gotten in contact with if it wasn’t for beautiful, wonderful and supportive Josephine Tang. Thank you too for helping me see and feel the value of my book and believing that it will truly help all the lost souls out there! Sometimes I almost think that you don’t live on this earth….

I also feel as if I should thank my dad for something too …for just raising a thunderstorm child without letting it get to him (almost at all).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Brain bullies body. Fuck brain.

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I am not my body. I think that is something that I need to understand. I have always been so obsessed with what my body look like. So obsessed that when I look in the mirror it’s like I’m at a carnival looking in those funny mirrors. When I feel fat I feel trapped. It’s like I can’t enjoy what I do if I don’t feel like I have my body under control. My brain needs to have my body under control. How does one change that? Because there must be more to life than a smookin body? It can’t be the purpose of life. The meaning? What do you do if you look back at your life and see a nice body but lack of experiences. Lack of life?

I know that there is a mind body connection, and they have to some what sync. I need to listen to my body in order for my brain to feel good. But when my brain controls my body, and my body is forced to listen to my brain, something happens. The brain is such a powerful tool. You can use it wise or you can use it to destroy your life and others with it. We know how propaganda works. How you can be tricked into doing things you never once could imagine you would do. The brain controls everything, and if I’m not aware of that I do myself no good.

I let my brain control my body, I punish myself if I eat shit, if I miss a workout. My brain constantly compares my body to others and telling me “they are more beautiful that you’ll ever get”. And my body is doing everything it can to please my brain, but my brain will never be pleased. If I don’t take control of it. My brain is nothing without my body. It’s like that insecure bully who takes that weak person and turns her into her bitch. But once that weak person realise what the bully is making her do and tell the bully to shut the fuck up and leave her alone, the bully has no one. Hopefully the bully then understand that you’ll get nowhere in this world by being a bully. And understand how good it feels to be kind.

I’m getting my body to tell my brain to shut the fuck up now. Because I don’t want to live a life where I don’t enjoy living because my brain keeps comparing me with others and telling me that I have to starve and work out every second in order to get permission to life. And then I’m too tired to live anyway. I don’t want to be bullies through life.

The bottom line is that I need to start eat with my body, not my brain. I know what my body needs. And I know that I have to stop listening to my brain when it tells me I’m not good enough. I’m not my body. I’m not my brain. I’m the one trying to balance those two. The consciousness if you may. But most of the time I live through my brain, and that’s when I allow stress and doubt to dominate the way I live. That’s not who I want to be, and how I want to live. I want to be free, happy, and alive. And full of love. Love for myself and through me, love for others.