Tag Archives: love yourself

Confident people live with love

maya-hej

My whole life I have lived trying to be myself, which to me means that I have lived my life doing what I enjoy. Being yourself to me means that you can express your thoughts and spending your time the way you want to without caring about the consequences. My struggle have been that I at the same time tried my best to be accepted of different people. I wanted people to like me so much that I was willing to sacrifice parts of me in order to get accepted. I did things that I thought I needed to do to fit into certain groups and I talked about what I thought was appropriate to talk about in these groups. My question to myself is; why did I care about what other people thought of me when I didn’t find what they cared about important at all? Why did I spend so much time trying to fit in to a group that didn’t care about anything I cared about? I simply don’t understand why I wanted to be liked and approved by them?

I just didn’t trust in my own ability to live my life. I thought that I needed to be more like other people to get anywhere in life. I didn’t believe in me, and that’s super sad.

What is it in our brains that make us try to be someone we are not just to be approved by groups of people that might not have the same values as us? I don’t know. I just know that my mission is to to make people understand that it is a waste of your time and life trying to please other people. I realized as soon as I stopped focusing on trying to be somebody that I thought that other people wanted me to be and trying to be more who I wanted to be things slowly started to get clearer for me.

You know how people tell you to listen to yourself, what you want and what you need, I believe that you cannot listen in to yourself if you are to busy trying to listen into what other people are doing. You have to stop comparing, get rid of all your made up expectations, be still and just trust that you are good enough with your own way of living. If somebody freezes you out or can’t stand you f you are not doing what they want you to do it is only because they needed you to confirm that what they were doing was right, and if you don’t do it their way then that makes them feel lost.

Confident people can see and value other peoples individuality. They don’t listen to what other people say is right or wrong. Confident people never tell other people to make them self smaller in order to fit in in. I believe that confident people hang out with people that live with love and happiness and see freedom in life. And that’s all I want. Freedom and love.

Self love

img_7068

That’s where it all starts. That’s where and when all the magic happens. When you love yourself you can start loving others and the world around you, for real. I get that now. I get that when you love yourself you defend yourself – that’s what standing up for yourself mean to me. You know when you talk you down, and you can stop and call bullshit. Or when someone comes with a truth that you don’t agree with, and you speak your mind, instead of just follow orders. That is standing up for yourself, to me.

Self love is when you nurse your own body like it was your child’s. It’s when you listen to its needs of sleep, nutrition, movements and love.

Self love to me is when you have a dream or a goal you desire to achieve and you believe in you and you do everything you need to do in order to get there. That is self love to me; when you believe in you.

Self love to me is when you just are and you are happy with that. You don’t always “have to be…” to be happy. That is peace of mind calling, and when you love yourself; that’s exactly what you will find.

Self love to me is doing things, using your inner strengths, whatever they may be, and not settling for the safe and the known, because you trust in your ability to do whatever you need, want and aspire to do.

Self love to me is looking at the whole picture, admire the whole picture and understand that the image doesn’t end with the frames.

I’m turning into a hippie, thank god!

img_2011

Something happens when you start loving yourself. You care. It’s like all the “whatevers” and “why not’s” turns into questions of why. Why should I do this to myself? Why expose myself to this? And why not do that, if it makes me happy and healthy?

I want to see the love in the world. I want to see health and happiness. I want people to appreciate living and see that they can do whatever they want to do with their lives. I want people to hug and laugh. Forget about stress. Forget about musts. Because most of the time, they are just made up. They are because they are, but they don’t have to be.

Everything I do in my life I do because I want to be happy. I want to explore all the methods I can use in order to elevate my happiness and find peace of mind. I’ve recently started to explore the power of the breath. Joe Rogan had Wim Hof “Iceman Hof” as a guest on his podcast a couple of weeks ago, and listening to what he has achieved with just his breath and exposure to cold is mind-fucking-blowing. I’m talking controlling his immune system, running a barefoot marathon above the polar circle and climbing Mount Everest in his undies. I started to take cold showers maybe 6 months ago and I could really experience all the amazing benefits from it quickly. The energy boost, clearness in my mind and happiness are just a few sensations I feel when exposing myself to the cold water. Wim Hof combines cold therapy with a breathing technique which essentially provides all your cells with oxygen which allows you to really get in contacts with your inner strength and emotional being.

It makes me so happy and full of hope finding out and learning new methods to control and explore my happiness and health. I get excited to breathe. I’ll keep exploring ways that can help me boost my happiness and my love for life. And sharing what I learn make me happy.

I’m better than I portray myself, are you?

IMG_0312

When something challenges me to get outside of my comfort zone or when someone challenges me, I get a knot in my stomach, or a bit above it. A solar plexus knot. I’m not talking about challenges like “chug a liter of milk” or “run a marathon”. I’m talking about the challenges where I have to prove what I’m capable of doing. Like going for a new job, taking on a new task and I have to put in a piece of me into a project.

That feeling has made me crumble, more than once. My inner critic tells me that I will crumble, that I won’t be able to perform and that I’m not good enough at what I do. I have doubt.

I then realize, that I’m actually so much better than I portray myself. I keep making myself smaller than I am, to fit in. I talk myself down because I think that it’s classy to know your faults and to be aware of what you aren’t good at. And it probably is good to know what you need to work on, but when I focus too much on what I need to work on I start to only see what I’m lacking. I totally miss what I’m actually brilliant at. I forget what an asset I can be, and I feel insecure. I feel safe when I know that people know that I already know what I’m not brilliant at. And I’m scared that they won’t see what I see the things that I’m good at. I’m scared that people will think that I’m stupid. Really, that’s it.

So often I hear people say, “don’t care about what other people think of you” and I think and believe that I actually don’t care. I am loud, and I am honest, I say what I think without trying to please others constantly, I can laugh at myself and I am rarely ashamed of making mistakes. But just then I realized that there are other areas where I care so much that I’m scared to act. Like creating things for others, creating experiences for others, committing to something at work and believing that I can actually do this and talk confidently to what I’m doing and why I’m doing this. I care what others think of me so much I prefer not to do them. Because I’m scared. Scared of being looked upon as stupid.

But seriously, fuck them. I’m not going to get anywhere in life if I keep making myself smaller, talk myself down and being scared of failing. Who cares if someone were to actually think that I’m stupid? It wouldn’t actually make any difference to my life at all. It actually doesn’t matter. I’m tall, fun and smart, I’m good at what I’m interested in and I have a lot to give. No matter what other people think I am still going to be the same. It doesn’t change anything. So I’m going to do what I do with my head up high and with the confidence I owe myself and deserve. Because seriously, stupid would be not to.

 

 

I am good enough!

14315695_10157370329365175_1822200377_o

Am I doing enough or do I need to try harder?

When and how do we know that we are doing enough? I always feel like I could do so much more, but I value time to do nothing a lot as well. I don’t want to be constantly busy. I need balance. I need to pause and breath. Quite often actually. But then I see what other people are up to, I start comparing myself with everyone again and I feel like the laziest person on earth. We can do something to get to where we want to be in every awaken minute of the day, but will that actually take us further than if we do what we feel comfortable with doing? I suppose that this is all aligned with what we value in life. I couldn’t live a life where I work most days and keep working after work, missing out on most dinners with Adrian because I’m chasing some dream, because my dream is also here and now, living our life. If I’m constantly trying to get somewhere, get to the future I’ll miss out on life here and now, and that’s important to me, and to our relationship.

And I know that right now I’m living how I want to live, now, even though I know that in the future I have a dream about something else with Adrian, we will have a big house and fly business class all over the world. You know, so that I can stretch out my restless legs when I’m visiting Sweden three months every year. I’m scared sometimes that I have to choose one or the other. But how do you know? How do you know if what your are putting in is enough? Am I good enough?

I am good enough! We all need to know that. I have doubted myself my whole life, and doubt has been familiar. Doubt has been what I knew. I have never known what it’s like not to doubt. I never thought I was good enough for my friends, I never thought I was good enough for my family, I thought that I had to earn the reason to feel good through perfect grades in school, I didn’t think that I looked good enough. The list goes on and on and on. I realized this listening to Marisa Peer, actually after I started writing this post. I didn’t youtube “how to be good enough”, I just remembered hearing the name and thought I’d see what she was all about. And like the universe works, I got the answers to my questions without even knowing that I was asking. So I am good enough. I don’t have to do anything to earn the right to feel like I’m good enough. I am enough just by being me.

Of course I’ve had a bad body image my whole life. I haven’t thought that I’m good enough if I don’t look a certain way. I’ve compared myself and tried to become someone else because I haven’t felt like I’m good enough the way I am. We live in a society where we are surrounded by people who all talk themselves down. We talk about ourselves like we aren’t good enough. That’s what’s familiar. That’s what’s normal. We grow up surrounded by a reality of people who all think that they aren’t good enough. I say enough to that. I have had enough! My goal in life is to change this, and make it normal to feel like we are all good enough for this world. We don’t have to constantly do, perform, look amazing in order to be enough for this world. We are enough just by being. I am good enough. Yesterday I wrote that on all the mirrors at work, because I want everyone to know that they are enough, just the way they are.

That body image shit again

14191378_10157350589815175_1084069861_o

What even is that? It actually shouldn’t even be a thing. I hate body images, because they have and still do affect me a lot. If I listen I can hear how my brain is comparing me with everything there is to compare me with. Manikins, friends, models, my self. I compare myself with everything. Why do I do that?

It’s everywhere. In movies, in magazines, in real life. Diets, nutrition, work out plans or lack there of is all everyone talk about. Well, not really, but there is always someone you know who is up for a discussion about how to go about to look leaner.

Our world is full of contrasts. The same time we teach all our young girls that dieting is normal, complaining about our bodies is normal and being in love with ourselves is abnormal, we also get taught that looking after our bodies in the best possible way is extreme, and a bit too much out there.

Our society is based on eating crap and then diet with crappy techniques. Because I love to eat raw vegetables and avoid sugar and processed food people look at me as disciplined and extreme. But what they don’t know is that I’ve been the opposite, stuffed my face with fake sugars, diet cokes, processed things that say “low calories” and “no added sugar” and only lean proteins for years, and I’ve felt like shit. I wasn’t happy when I followed what was “normal”, so why is it extreme to live to make your body happy?

Not until I actually took a step back from my lifestyle of obsessive over-training and eating “fake-shit”, and started to understand my body’s biology, what it really needs and started to actually listen to that I could wrap my head around the whole body image thing. Because when I tried to achieve an “Ideal body” with crappy methods built on extremely biologically unnatural grounds, the way society push you to go about it, and I failed with frustration. I failed for ten years and felt like shit doing it.

But when I suddenly tried and put that “body image” aside, and focus on treating my body with respect, feed it what it truly craved, feed it what I would want my kids to eat, so many shifts happened inside of me. And I started to crave more of feeling good. What more could I do for my body? I can move a lot but only push myself when I know that it is what my body needs, not what my brain. And I can talk nicely to it. I make sure I get 7-8 hours of sleep every night, and every time I hear those comparing voices in my head I simply tell them to fuck off. Listening to them, and listening to societies “normal” rules when it comes to body image turned me into someone I didn’t want to be. It made me genuinely unhappy. I already love so much, and it’s time I truly love myself, without comparison. Just love me.